![\"managing](\"https:\/\/getlighthouse.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/not-all-perfect.jpg\" "\\"\\"")
<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\nThere's likely to be at least one person who resents you. They wanted the job. They may think they can do a better job. They may not have liked you before, and now they really<\/em> don't like you. They may passively or actively undermine you as a leader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You may also feel uncomfortable as people who were your peers, who you commiserated and socialized with now report to you. The awkwardness can easily go beyond the walls of your office as your friendship has to switch between \"friend-mode\" and \"manager-mode\" on a regular basis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here's a few approaches you can use when you face these challenges in managing peers after promotion:<\/p>\n\n\n\n As a leader, the example you set<\/a> is critical, so the first thing you should do is to relax and be confident<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Remember: Your company chose you because they believe you are the best person for the job. Embrace that and use those feelings to help you take on these challenges - and you'll find managing former colleagues is not so scary after all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There's no avoiding it. There's going to be some awkwardness in your new role. So why not take it head on?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Your one on ones<\/a> are a great time to clear the air. Let your former peers vent. Listen. Ask good questions and get their opinions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Often, people just want to feel heard. By letting them air any grievances and talking about how they feel, you can then work together to address the awkwardness. Whether that's because they also wanted the job or they're not sure how this affects your friendship, you will be creating a dialogue around the issues that naturally arise when managing former peers. You'll be removing the elephant from the room right away.<\/p>\n\n\n As Sheryl Sandberg wrote<\/a> about handling tough conversations with her team after her husband's death,<\/p>\n\n\n\n \"Once I addressed the elephant, we were able to kick him out of the room.\"<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n If you come with an open mind, you may discover valuable insights. For instance, if they thought they were a better choice for the role, ask what weaknesses in your leadership style you could improve? This can both make you a better leader by learning what they thought you were lacking, while also showing you're listening to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It also sets the expectation that just because you're the leader doesn't mean you won't take their input. <\/p>\n\n\n\n As Ed Catmull wrote<\/a> of the value of candor in management:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \"Candor isn't cruel. It does not destroy. On the contrary, any successful feedback system is built on empathy, on the idea that we are all in this together<\/strong>, that we understand your pain because we've experienced it ourselves.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Having the courage to take on these awkward questions right away sends a strong message on how you face challenges and value their input. This is a great way to build your new manager-team member relationship with them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Further reading:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n If you have been working with your peers for a long time, you probably know them pretty well. That means you know their strengths and weaknesses, and you can set them up for success. Delegate work that you know they can do well and give them the trust and autonomy to do it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This isn't just logical; it's backed by research. As Gallup found in their \"State of the American Manager\" research<\/a>, when people have the chance to work on their strengths daily, they're significantly more engaged:<\/p>\n\n\n Deloitte found<\/a> similar, powerful benefits:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \"\u2026almost all the variation between high- and lower-performing teams was explained by a very small group of items. The most powerful one proved to be \"At work, I have the opportunity to do what I do best every day.<\/strong>\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Business units whose employees chose \"strongly agree\u201d for this item were 44% more likely to earn high customer satisfaction scores, 50% more likely to have low employee turnover, and 38% more likely to be productive.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Furthermore, this can be a great olive branch. No, they didn't get the promotion you received, but you can give them a great project or responsibility they're excited about. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Even if they're resentful, this can help melt away some of those feelings knowing you have their interests at heart. That's why emphasis on open communication is key when managing former colleagues. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This is also a primary reason why peer one on ones<\/a> are so powerful. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You build these relationships before<\/em> you need them, and then are just transitioning a habit you already had into a more frequent manager-team member conversation. Even better, you'll have more power to do something about problems you may have previously only been able to commiserate on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n With that in mind, consider looking for new peers to connect with at your new level to get advice and build more valuable relationships going forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Further reading:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\nTable of Contents - What to do when you're managing former peers<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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<\/figure>\n\n\n\nHow to Approach Managing Former Colleagues<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n1) Take the awkwardness head on<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\nRemove the elephants when managing peers after promotion<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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<\/figure>\n\n\n\n2) Use your previous role to your advantage<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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